Relational Commitments
Introduction
The following Commitments are designed to help the people who attend our church relate
to one another in a way that honors God and promotes authentic relationships. These
Commitments cover important relational issues, such as peacemaking and reconciliation,
marriage and divorce, protecting children from abuse, counseling, confidentiality, and
mutual accountability.

These Commitments are intended to help us build a strong community of faith. By
community, we mean a group of people who have voluntarily joined together to
encourage and support one another as we worship God, grow in our understanding of His
love for us, and seek to tell others about the salvation and peace they, too, can find
through faith in Jesus Christ.

We know that true community isn't easy to achieve. Each of us brings our own
expectations and agendas into the church. This diversity usually leads to rich discussions
and creative ministries; but sometimes it can lead to conflict. As James 4:1-2 warns,
“What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that
battle within you? You want something but don’t get it.”

That certainly describes us! At times, no matter how hard we try to build a close
community of faith, our desires and expectations still clash. That’s where these
Commitments come in. They pull together key principles from God’s Word and serve as
our relational guidelines. These Commitments accomplish several important purposes:

• They remind us of our mutual commitment to work together to pursue unity, maintain
friendships, preserve marriages, and build relationships that reflect the love of Christ.
• They help to prevent surprises, disappointed expectations, confusion and conflict by
describing how we expect to relate to one another within the church.
• They provide a clear track for us to run on when conflict threatens to divide us, and
they remind us how to move quickly toward reconciliation.
• They establish guidelines for how our leaders will counsel others, guard confidential
information, and protect our children from abuse.
• They insure that all members are treated fairly. 1
• Finally, they reduce our church's exposure to legal liability by clearly establishing our
relational practices and by affirming our mutual commitment to resolve conflict
biblically.2
1 When we use the term “leader” in these Commitments, we are referring to the pastors and elders of our
church.
2 See www.PeacemakerChurch.net for information on how these Commitments can help to prevent conflict
and reduce exposure to legal liability in our church.
Flint Hills Bible Church
Relational Commitments
As you read our Relational Commitments, we encourage you to study the Bible passages
that are cited next to particular provisions. We want you to be confident that these
Commitments are based solidly on the Word of God. If your study does not answer all of
your questions and concerns, please do not hesitate to approach our leaders, who will be
happy to talk with you about these principles.
We encourage you to expressly embrace these Commitments and formally join our
church by acknowledging your faith in Christ and going through our membership
process.
If you are not yet ready to become a member, you and your family are certainly welcome
to attend our worship services, find fellowship in a small group, and seek assistance from
our leaders. Please realize that if you continue relating to us in any of these ways, we will
assume that you have consented to these Commitments, even if you have not yet formally
joined the church. (See the story on the next page to learn why these Commitments apply
to both members and attenders.)
As followers of Christ, we will do all we can to encourage you to grow in faith and
godliness and to live a disciplined life that honors our Lord Jesus Christ and enhances the
witness of His church.
To God be the Glory!
The Elders of Flint Hills Christian Church
These Relational Commitments are adapted from The Peacemaker Church.
Used by permission of Peacemaker® Ministries.
Edition 1.1 www.PeacemakerChurch.net
A Tale of Two Families
Two boys, John and Luke, lost their mother at a young age. When they were in their
teens, their father was reported to have died when his plane crashed into the ocean. The
boys had no other relatives, so two neighboring families took them in.
The Friendly family did all they could to make John feel welcome in their home. They
gave him his own bedroom, provided his meals, and encouraged him to join in family
activities. Not wanting him to feel any pressure, they did not explain to him any of the
family rules. Instead they hoped that he would notice how their other children behaved
and decide on his own to act the same way.
Not knowing exactly what was expected of him, John frequently disappointed the family
by violating unspoken rules. Feeling judged and unconnected to the family, he became
increasingly independent. He came and went at any hour, played loud music, and spent
long hours in his room with a variety of girls. When Mr. Friendly finally tried to talk with
him about his behavior, John said, “I’m not your son, so you have no right to tell me how
to live my life. I like having a bedroom and meals whenever I decide to be here, but I’ll
still do whatever seems right to me.”
Tensions continued to build, and finally Mr. Friendly asked John to leave. Fortunately for
John, there was another Friendly family in town, and they were happy to take him in. But
there the cycle started all over again.
John’s brother had an entirely different experience. Luke was taken in by the Loving
family. They wanted him to feel welcome, so they gave him a room, provided meals, and
encouraged him to join in family activities. But they also wanted to avoid
misunderstandings and conflict. So shortly after Luke arrived, Mr. Loving explained the
family rules to Luke, so he would know how to get along with the rest of the family. He
said, “Even though you are not my son, I will be glad to look out for you the best I can.
But as long as you are in my home, I also will expect you to behave as my other children
do.”
Like any normal teenager, Luke sometimes broke the rules. When he did, Mr. Loving sat
down with him, pointed out what he’d done wrong, and held him accountable to the same
standards he had established for his other children. Luke sometimes resented this
discipline, but he eventually realized it was always done in love, and it kept him out of a
lot of trouble.
After a few months, Mr. Loving approached Luke and said, “Since you are living here
like part of the family, we would like to make it official. If you feel this is where you’d
like to stay, we’d like to adopt you and make you our son.”
Luke gladly accepted and formally committed himself to the family. In doing so, he
changed from being an orphan who merely resided in the home to being a son who
Flint Hills Bible Church
Relational Commitments
willingly accepted and enjoyed all of the same responsibilities and privileges of his new
brothers and sisters.
Suppose that John and Luke’s father is rescued from an island two years later. When he is
reunited with his sons and hears what has happened to them, which family will he thank
the most? The Friendly family, who were kind enough to give John a place to hang out,
but could not bring themselves to give him any boundaries? Or the Loving family, who
welcomed Luke in, held him accountable to the same rules as the rest of the family, and
invited him to be a son?
The answer is obvious. And there is a real Father who one day will evaluate the way we
care for the people who come into our church family. Therefore, we are glad to welcome
people and give them a place to worship, grow and serve. But being “friendly” is not
good enough. We want to be loving, as God defines loving (Hebrews 12:5-6; 10:24).
Therefore, we will encourage and expect everyone who attends our church to live out the
biblical principles that are summarized in these Relational Commitments.
And when people have lived like part of our family for a while, we will encourage them
to “make it official.” Living like an orphan, with its illusion of independence and self-
determination, may seem appealing to some. But it cannot compare to the security,
privileges, and sense of belonging that come from joining a biblical church and living as
truly committed brothers and sisters in the family of God.
Commitment to Peacemaking and Reconciliation
Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called sons of God (Matt. 5:9)
Our church is committed to building a “culture of peace” that reflects God’s peace and
the power of the gospel of Christ in our lives. As we stand in the light of the cross, we
realize that bitterness, unforgiveness and broken relationships are not appropriate for the
people whom God has reconciled to himself through the sacrifice of his only Son (John
13:34-35; Ephesians 4:29-32; Colossians 3:12-14).

Therefore, we look to the Scriptures and the Holy Spirit for guidance on how we can
respond to conflict in a way that will honor God, promote justice, reconcile relationships,
and preserve our witness for Christ. As God gives us his wisdom and grace, we are
committed to actively teaching and encouraging one another to live out the following
principles of peacemaking and reconciliation:

Personal Peacemaking
• Whenever we are faced with conflict, our primary goal will be to glorify God with
our thoughts, words and actions (1 Corinthians 10:31).
• We will try to get the “logs” out of our own eyes before focusing on what others may
have done wrong (Matthew 7:3-5).
• We will seek to overlook minor offenses (Proverbs 19:11).
• We will refrain from all gossip, backbiting and slander (Ephesians 4:29). If we have a
problem with others, we will talk to them, not about them.
• We will make “charitable judgments” toward one another by believing the best about
each other until we have facts that prove otherwise (1 Corinthian 13:7).
• If an offense is too serious to overlook, or if we think someone may have something
against us, we will go promptly to seek reconciliation (Matthew 5:23-24; 18:15).
• When we offer a word of correction to others, we will do so graciously and gently,
with the goal of serving and restoring them, rather than beating them down (Proverbs
12:18; Ephesians 4:29; Galatians 6:1).
• When someone tries to correct us, we will ask God to help us resist prideful
defensiveness and to welcome correction with humility (Psalm 141:5; Proverbs
15:32).
• When others repent, we will ask God to give us grace to forgive them as he has
forgiven us (Ephesians 4:32).
• When we discuss or negotiate substantive issues, we will look out for others’ interests
as well as our own (Philippians 2:3-4).

Assisted Peacemaking
• When two of us cannot resolve a conflict privately, we will seek the mediation of
wise people in our church and listen humbly to their counsel (Matthew 18:16;
Philippians 4:2-3). If our dispute is with a church leader, we will look to other leaders
for assistance.
Flint Hills Bible Church
Relational Commitments
• When informal mediation does not resolve a dispute, we will seek formal assistance
from our church leaders or people they appoint, and we will submit to their counsel
and correction (Matthew 18:17-20).
• When we have a business or legal dispute with another Christian, we will make every
reasonable effort to resolve the conflict within the body of Christ through biblical
mediation or arbitration, rather than going to civil court (1 Corinthians 6:1-8). If the
other party attends another church, our leaders will offer to cooperate with the leaders
of that church to resolve the matter.
• If a person coming to our church has an unresolved conflict with someone in his
former church, we will require and assist him to make every reasonable effort to be
reconciled to the other person before joining our church (Matthew 5:23-24; Romans
12:18).
• When a conflict involves matters of doctrine or church discipline, we will submit to
the procedures set forth in our Commitment to Accountability and Church Discipline.
• If we have a legal dispute with or within our church and cannot resolve it internally
through the steps given above, we will obey God’s command not to go into the civil
court (1 Corinthians 6:1-8). Instead, we will submit the matter to mediation and, if
necessary, legally binding arbitration3
Above all, we pray that our ministry of peacemaking will bring praise to our Lord Jesus
Christ and lead others to know his infinite love and peace.4
3 An example of a way to go about this is seen in Rules of Procedure for Christian Conciliation of the
Institute for Christian Conciliation, a division of Peacemaker Ministries (www.Peacemaker.net).
4 Adapted from The Peacemaker: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflict, by Ken Sande (Baker
Books, 3rd Ed. 2004).
Commitment to Preserving Marriages
So they are no longer two but one. Therefore, what God has joined together, let man not separate (Matthew 19:6)
God designed marriage to reflect the beauty and permanence of Christ’s loving
relationship with his bride, the church (Ephesians 5:22-33; Revelation 19:7). Therefore,
he established marriage to be a life-long, exclusive relationship between one man and one
woman (Matthew 19:4-6). God also designed it to provide mutual companionship
through life’s joys and difficulties, to create stability for raising and nurturing children,
and to give strength and cohesiveness to society in general.

In our society, marriages fail under a wide range of circumstances. Many people have
gone through a divorce before having a relationship with Christ, and others have
experienced divorce through no desire or decision of their own. Still others may have
divorced because of their own wrongful choices, but have since experienced the
repentance and forgiveness offered through our Lord Jesus. We want all of you to know
that you are welcome in our church.

Because our church recognizes both the divine origin of marriage and the devastating
effects of divorce, we are deeply committed to preserving marriages and preventing
divorce. Toward this end, we will devote a significant portion of our preaching and
teaching ministry to strengthening marriages and families. We require and provide
thorough premarital counseling to ensure that couples enter into marriage advisedly and
are well prepared for its many challenges.

We also encourage couples to nurture their marriages by participating in fellowship
opportunities, Bible studies, and Sunday School in which people can grow together in
their love for God and for one another (Hebrews 10:24-25). As relationships deepen
within these groups, we expect husbands to spur each other on in loving and cherishing
their wives, and wives to encourage one another in respecting and loving their husbands
(Ephesians 5:33).

Our leaders are committed to providing counsel and support to couples who face marital
difficulties. We will discourage couples from using divorce as a way to run away from issues that instead can be resolved through Spirit-guided counseling, repentance, forgive-
ness and ongoing discipleship.
We recognize, however, that there are times when God permits a believer to seek a
divorce without sinning against God or a spouse. We believe divorce is permissible when
the other spouse has been sexually involved with a person outside the marriage (Matthew
5:31-32), or when an unbelieving spouse abandons a marriage (1 Corinthians 7:12-16).

Even though divorce is permissible in these situations, it is not required. God patiently
bears with our sins, repeatedly calls us to repentance, and freely forgives us when we turn
back to him (Psalm 103:8-12; Isaiah 55:7). When divorce becomes an option, an
offended spouse can imitate God’s love by offering a straying spouse these same evidences of grace (Ephesians 5:1-2). This may involve patiently bearing neglect or
lovingly confronting serious sin (Colossians 3:12-14; Galatians 6:1). In some situations,
love may require asking the church to initiate formal discipline to rescue a spouse and a
marriage from the devastating effects of unrepentant sin (Matthew 18:12-20).

Just as church leaders are involved in beginning a marriage, they should be involved
when it ends. Therefore, when someone is considering divorce, he or she is expected to
bring the situation to our leaders and cooperate with them as they determine whether
grounds exist, promote repentance and reconciliation, and exhaust redemptive discipline,
if appropriate.

Separated spouses who have filed for divorce should consider themselves married until
the day a civil court issues a divorce decree. Thus they should refrain from dating or any
other activity that is inconsistent with being married.

We are always interested in helping divorced people restore their previous marriage if
that is possible and appropriate. We will support a decision to pursue a second marriage
to a different person only when we have determined that it is biblically valid and that
every reasonable effort has been made to seek and grant forgiveness of the sins that
contributed to a previous divorce.

We rejoice that divorce never diminishes God’s free offer of love, grace and forgiveness.
He cherishes and loves every person who has been unwillingly divorced, as does our
church. God graciously extends this same love to those who have wrongly left their
marriages. That love moves him (and us) to call them to repentance, to encourage and aid
reconciliation when possible, and to gladly restore those who have done all they can to
rebuild broken relationships.
Commitment to Protecting Our Children
The prudent see danger and take refuge (Proverbs 27:12a)
Children are a blessing from God, and he calls the church to support parents in their
responsibility to train children in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. Therefore, the
church should be a safe and blessed place for children, where they can grow, play, form
friendships, and learn to experience and share the love of Christ.

Since sin affects every person and organization in the world, however, it is possible that
children could be harmed even during church activities. We cannot guarantee that such
things will never happen within our fellowship, but we are committed to taking every
reasonable precaution to protect our children from foreseeable harm. This commitment
includes, but is not limited to, the following steps:

• We do not allow anyone to work regularly with our youth (children or teenagers),
unless he or she has regularly attended our church for at least six months.
• We require all of our youth workers to complete a detailed application and screening
process.
• We require that, whenever practicable, youth workers serve in teams of two or more
and be visible to other workers.

If a child is harmed in our church, we will take immediate steps to inform the parents, to
accept responsibility for our role in the situation, and to hold offending youth workers
fully responsible for their actions. We will also evaluate our practices and procedures,
considering changes that might reduce the likelihood of such harm to children in the
future.
Commitment to Biblical Counseling
I myself am convinced, my brothers, that you yourselves are full of goodness, complete in knowledge and competent to instruct one another (Romans 15:14)
All Christians struggle with sin and the effect it has on our lives and our relationships.
Whenever believers are unable to overcome sinful attitudes or behaviors through personal
efforts, God calls them to seek assistance from other believers, and when needed from
church leaders, who have the responsibility of providing pastoral counseling and
oversight (see Romans 15:14; Galatians 6:1-2; 2 Timothy 4:1-2; Hebrews 13:17; James
5:16). Therefore, this church encourages and enjoins its people to seek counsel from and
confess sins to each other and to our leaders.

We believe that the Bible provides thorough guidance and instruction for faith and life (2
Timothy 3:16-17). Therefore, our counseling is based on scriptural principles rather than
those of secular psychology or psychiatry. Unless they specifically state otherwise, none
of those who counsel in this church are trained or licensed as psychotherapists or mental
health professionals, nor should they be expected to follow the methods of such
specialists.

God calls our leaders to set an example for us “in speech, in life, in love, and in faith and
purity”(1 Timothy 4:12). Therefore, we expect them to treat counselees with every
respect and courtesy, and to avoid even the appearance of impropriety or impurity during
counseling (Ephesians 5:3). We also expect counselees to promptly report to the
leadership team any conduct that fails to meet this standard.

To prevent our leaders from being placed in situations that might compromise their
pastoral commitments, we, the members and attenders of this church, agree that we will
not try to compel them to testify in any legal proceeding or otherwise divulge any
confidential information they receive through pastoral counseling or ministry (Proverbs
11:13, 25:9).

There are occasions when our leaders do not have sufficient time to meet with every
person who asks for counseling. At such times we expect our leaders to give first priority
to people who have formally joined the church (Galatians 6:10), and to serve those who
only attend the church by referring them to another source of godly counsel.
Commitment to Confidentiality
A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy man keeps a secret (Proverbs 11:13)
The Bible teaches that Christians should carefully guard any personal and private
information that others reveal to them. Protecting confidences is a sign of Christian love
and respect (Matthew 7:12). It also discourages harmful gossip (Proverbs 26:20), invites
confession (Proverbs 11:13), and thus encourages people to seek needed counseling.
Since these goals are essential to the ministry of the gospel and the work of the local
church, all members and attenders are expected to refrain from gossip and to respect the
confidences of others. In particular, our leaders will carefully protect all information that
they receive in confidential settings, subject to the following guidelines.

Although confidentiality is to be respected as much as possible, there are times when it is
appropriate to reveal certain information to others. In particular, when our leaders believe
it is biblically necessary, they may disclose confidential information to appropriate
people such as but not limited to:

• when a leader is uncertain of how to counsel a person about a particular problem and
needs to seek advice from other leaders in our church or, if the person attends another
church, from the leaders of that church (Proverbs 11:14);
• when the person who disclosed the information, or any other person, is in imminent
danger of serious harm unless others intervene (Proverbs 24:11-12);
• when a person refuses to repent of sin and it becomes necessary to promote
repentance through accountability and redemptive church discipline (Matthew 18:15-
20); or,
• when leaders are required by law to report suspected abuse (Romans 13:1).
Commitment to Accountability and Church Discipline
And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds (Hebrews 10:24) Like all of our Relational Commitments, the principles and practices described below apply to all the people who attend our church (both members and attenders).
A. Accountability and Discipline Are Signs of God’s Love
God has established the church to reflect his character, wisdom and glory in the midst of
a fallen world (Ephesians 3:10-11). He loves his church so much that he sent his Son to
die for her (Ephesians 5:25). His ultimate purpose for his church is to present her as a gift
to his Son; thus Scripture refers to the church as the “bride” of Christ (Revelation 19:7).
For this reason the Father, Son and Holy Spirit are continually working to purify the
church and bring her to maturity (Ephesians 5:25-27).

This does not mean that God expects the church to be made up of perfectly pure people.
He knows that the best of churches are still companies of sinners who wrestle daily with
remaining sin (1 John 1:8; Philippians 3:12). Therefore, it would be unbiblical for us to
expect church members to live perfectly. What we can do, however, is confess our
common struggle with sin and our mutual need for God’s mercy and grace. We also can
spur one another on toward maturity by encouraging and holding each other accountable
to love, seek after, and obey God with all of our hearts, souls, minds and strength, and to
love others as we love ourselves (Mark 12:30-31; Hebrews 10:24-25).

The Bible sometimes refers to this process of mutual encouragement and accountability
as “discipline.” The Bible never presents church discipline as being negative, legalistic or
harsh, as modern society does. True discipline originates from God himself and is always
presented as a sign of genuine love. “The Lord disciplines those he loves” (Hebrews
12:6). “Blessed is the man you discipline, O LORD, the man you teach from your law”
(Psalm 94:12). “Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline” (Revelation 3:19).

God’s discipline in the church, like the discipline in a good family, is intended to be
primarily positive, instructive and encouraging. This process, which is sometimes
referred to as “formative discipline,” involves preaching, teaching, prayer, personal Bible
study, small group fellowship and countless other enjoyable activities that challenge and
encourage us to love and serve God more wholeheartedly.

On rare occasions God’s discipline, like the discipline in a family with growing children,
also may have a corrective purpose. When we forget or disobey what God has taught us,
he corrects us. One way he does this is to call the church to seek after us and lead us back
onto the right track. This process, which is sometimes called “corrective” or “restorative”
discipline, is likened in Scripture to a shepherd seeking after a lost sheep.
If a man has a hundred sheep, and one of them wanders away, will he not leave
the ninety-nine on the hills and go to look for the one that wandered off? And if
he finds it, I tell you the truth, he is happier about that one sheep than about the
ninety-nine that did not wander off (Matthew 18:12-13).
Thus, restorative or corrective discipline is never to be done in a harsh, vengeful or self-
righteous manner. It is always to be carried out in humility and love, with the goals of restoring someone to a close walk with Christ (Matthew 18:15; Galatians 6:1), protecting
others from harm (1 Corinthians 5:6), and showing respect for the honor and glory of
God’s name (1 Peter 2:12).

Biblical discipline is similar to the discipline we value in other aspects of life. We admire
parents who consistently teach their children how to behave properly and lovingly
discipline them when they disobey. We value music teachers who bring out the best in
their students by teaching them proper technique and consistently pointing out their errors
so they can play a piece properly. And we applaud athletic coaches who diligently teach
their players to do what is right and correct them when they fumble, so that the team
works well together and can compete for the championship.

The same principles apply to the family of God. We, too, need to be taught what is right
and to be lovingly corrected when we do something contrary to what God teaches us in
his Word. Therefore, we as a church are committed to help one another obey God’s
command to be “self-controlled, upright, holy and disciplined” (Titus 1:8).

The leaders of our church recognize that God has called them to an even higher level of
accountability regarding their faith and conduct (James 3:1; 1 Timothy 5:19-20).
Therefore, they are committed to listening humbly to loving correction from each other or
from any member in our church, and, if necessary, to submitting themselves to the
corrective discipline of our body.

B. Most Corrective Discipline Is Private, Personal and Informal

God gives every believer grace to be self-disciplined. “For God did not give us a spirit of
timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline” (2 Timothy 1:7). Thus
discipline always begins as a personal matter and usually remains that way, as each of us
studies God’s Word, seeks him in prayer, and draws on his grace to identify and change
sinful habits and grow in godliness.

But sometimes we are blind to our sins or so tangled in them that we cannot get free on
our own. This is why the Bible says, “Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who
are spiritual should restore him gently” (Galatians 6:1). In obedience to this command,
we are committed to giving and receiving loving correction within our church whenever a
sin (whether in word, behavior or doctrine) seems too serious to overlook (Proverbs
19:11). If repeated private conversations do not lead another person to repentance, Jesus
commands that we ask other brothers or sisters to get involved. “If he will not listen, take
one or two others along” (Matthew 18:16). If informal conversations with these people
fail to resolve the matter, then we may seek the involvement of more influential people,
such as a small group leader, Sunday school teacher or church leader. If even these
efforts fail to bring a brother or sister to repentance, and if the issue is too serious to
overlook, we will move into what may be called “formal discipline.”

C. Formal Discipline May Involve the Entire Church

If an individual persistently refuses to listen to personal and informal correction to turn
from speech or behavior that the Bible defines as sin, Jesus commands us to “tell it to the
church” (Matthew 18:17a). This first involves informing one or more church leaders
about the situation. If the offense is not likely to cause imminent harm to others, our
leaders may approach the individual privately to personally establish the facts and
encourage repentance of any sin they discover. The individual will be given every
reasonable opportunity to explain and defend his or her actions. If the individual
recognizes his sin and repents, the matter usually ends there, unless a confession to
additional people is needed.

If an offense is likely to harm others or lead them into sin, or cause division or disruption,
our leaders may accelerate the entire disciplinary process and move promptly to protect
the church (Romans 16:17; 1 Corinthians 5:1-13; Titus 3:10-11).

As the disciplinary process progresses, our leaders may impose a variety of sanctions to
encourage repentance, including but not limited to private and public admonition,
withholding of the Lord’s Supper, removal from office, withdrawal of normal fellowship,
and removal from membership (Matthew 5:23-24; 2 Thessalonians 3:6-15; Matthew
18:17).

If the straying individual does not repent in response to private appeals from our leaders,
they may inform others in the church who may be able to influence that individual or be
willing to pray for him or her, or people who might be harmed or affected by that
person’s behavior. This step may include the entire congregation if our leaders deem it to
be appropriate (Matthew 18:17, 1 Timothy 5:20).

If, after a reasonable period of time, the individual still refuses to change, then our leaders
may formally remove him or her from membership and normal fellowship. They also
may inform the church body of their decision and instruct the congregation to treat the
individual as an unbeliever. This means that we will no longer treat him as a fellow
Christian. Instead of having casual, relaxed fellowship with the individual, we will look
for opportunities to lovingly bring the gospel to him, remind him of God’s holiness and
mercy, and call him to repent and put his faith in Christ (Matthew 18:17; 1 Corinthians
5:5; 1 Timothy 1:20)
We realize that our natural human response to correction often is to hide or run away
from accountability (Genesis 3:8-10). To avoid falling into this age-old trap and to
strengthen our church’s ability to rescue us if we are caught in sin, we agree not to run
away from this church to avoid corrective discipline. Therefore, we waive our right to
withdraw from membership or accountability if discipline is pending against us.
Although we are free to stop attending the church at any time, we agree that a withdrawal while discipline is pending will not be given effect until the church has fulfilled its God-
given responsibilities to encourage our repentance and restoration, and to bring the disciplinary process to an orderly conclusion, as described in these Commitments
(Matthew 18:12-14; Galatians 6:1; Hebrews 13:17).

If an individual leaves the church while discipline is in effect or is being considered, and
our leaders learn that he or she is attending another church, they may inform that church
of the situation and ask its leaders to encourage the individual to repent and be reconciled
to the Lord and to any people he or she has offended. This action is intended both to help
the individual find freedom from his sin and to warn the other church about the harm that
he or she might do to their members (see Matthew 18:12-14; Romans 16:17; 1 Corinthians 5:1-13; 3 John 1:9-10).

Loving restoration always stands at the heart of the disciplinary process. If an individual
repents, and our leaders confirm his or her sincerity, we will rejoice together and gladly
imitate God’s forgiveness by restoring the person to fellowship within the body (see
Matthew 18:13; Luke 15:3-7, 11-32; 2 Corinthians 2:5-11; Colossians 3:12-14).

People who have been excluded from another church will not be allowed to partake of the
ordinances in our church, to become members, or to participate in the regular fellowship
of our church until they have repented of their sins and made a reasonable effort to be
reconciled, or our leaders have determined that the discipline of the former church was
not biblically appropriate.

As we pursue the blessings of accountability and church discipline, we will hold fast to
the promise of Scripture: “God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his
holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it
produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it”
(Hebrews 12:10-11).
5 For example, if we confronted a man in our church for seducing young women, or for acting
inappropriately around little children, or for sowing gossip and division, and he left and started attending
another church, we would consider it our duty to urge the leaders of that church to counsel with him and to
protect their people from his harmful behavior.
We Invite You to Become a Member of Our Church
In the words of Eric Alexander:

What is the really important thing that is happening in the world in our generation?
Where are the really significant events taking place? What is the most important thing?
Where do you need to look in the modern world to see the most significant event from a
divine perspective? Where is the focus of God’s activity in history? The most significant
thing happening in history is the calling, redeeming, and perfecting of the people of God.
God is building the church of Jesus Christ. The rest of history is simply a stage God
erects for that purpose. He is calling out a people. He is perfecting them. He is
changing them. History’s great climax comes when God brings down the curtain on this
bankrupt world and the Lord Jesus Christ arrives in his infinite glory. The rest of history
is simply the scaffolding for the real work.6
At the center of God’s redemptive plan is the Bride of Christ – the church. The Bible
knows nothing of a Christian who is not committed to the church. And at Flint Hills
Christian Church this commitment is demonstrated by formal membership.

To learn why, please read Joshua Harris’s book, Stop Dating the Church, and the third
chapter of Donald Whitney’s book, Spiritual Disciplines Within the Church:
Participating Fully in the Body of Christ.

Becoming a member of a church can be a life-changing decision. The preaching,
teaching, fellowship, opportunities to use your gifts, and mutual accountability that you
experience in a church can dramatically change your relationship with the Lord and with
the people he places in your life. Therefore, we want you to take time to get to know our
church, learn how we are fulfilling God’s command to build his kingdom, and see how
we love and relate to one another in daily life.

If you like what you see in our church, we invite you to attend our membership class.
During that class you can learn more about our church’s doctrines and vision for
ministry, and about the privileges and responsibilities of formal membership. Attending
the class will not obligate you to become a member.

If attending the membership class convinces you that joining our church will help to you
grow in your ability to love and serve God, we would be delighted to have you become a
member of our body. By joining our church, you will demonstrate in a concrete way your
desire to unite with us to advance Christ’s kingdom. Membership also will allow you to
enjoy ministry opportunities and privileges that are not available to people who only
attend our church, including the following:

• You may participate and vote in congregational meetings, where we seek to discern
and plan how to follow God’s vision for our church.
6 Cited in Richard Phillips, The Masculine Mandate (Harrisonburg, VA: Reformation Trust, 2010), 141.
• You can seek more opportunities to use your spiritual gifts, including those of teaching,
serving and leading within the body.
• If you need counseling or support from our leaders when their time is limited, your
request for assistance will take precedence over requests from people who have not
joined the church.
• The elders commit themselves to the responsibility of leading you and keeping watch
over your soul (Hebrews 13:17).
If you would like to learn more about the importance of church membership, please read
the books mentioned above. You also may meet with our leaders, who would be happy to
discuss any questions or concerns you may have about membership.
6 Cited in Richard Phillips, The Masculine Mandate (Harrisonburg, VA: Reformation Trust, 2010), 141.